To Mediate or Not . . . That Seems to Be the Question?

By Allison Davis, Esq.

Things are not going well on the home front and you and your spouse decide that the marriage is over. What is next? Where do you go? What do you do?  These are normal questions which have varied answers depending on your circumstances. Basically, there are two roads to travel; litigation or mediation. More and more people today are choosing the mediation route as an effective means to reach a good result. Why?

Mediation allows you to work out the issues of your divorce in an amicable, affordable, non-confrontational, and non-adversarial manner. Mediation is done with a neutral 3rd party mediator, who can help you in identifying the issues that need to be resolved and then help you in reaching a realistic result that works for both of you.

Mediation allows you both to put your heads together to work out solutions that fit your needs and lifestyles. What works for some families will not necessarily work for yours. Who knows what will be the best way to handle these issues better than you?  When Courts are involved, the wants of the parties are not taken into consideration nearly as much. The Court has to divide things up in an objective fashion, doing what they think is best. The reality is that if both you and your spouse are willing to be honest and forthright, you know what is best and can broker the best deal of all.

Mediation generally moves much faster than litigation because you have more control.  You are not waiting on attorneys or the court’s calendar.  The matter will move as quick or as slow as you allow. Your responsiveness in providing documents and your willingness to work on reaching an agreement that is fair to both of you will set the pace.

Mediation will only work however, if both parties are willing to give and take.  Reaching a settlement agreement is about S E T T L I N G. Both of you have to give up something to get something that you want more in return. If you are not willing to give up anything, then mediation is not the option for you.

The truth of the matter is that nobody gets everything they want in a divorce, but Mediation will likely get you something you can be happy with, faster and for far less money. Call me to schedule an appointment to discuss if mediation is right for you.

Bookmark the permalink.